My projects and the status on them

Since people keep mailing / PMing / otherwise messaging me about this, I thought I'd make the info easily accessible. This is just a reference to those who only frequent my journal for this purpose, so feel free to ignore this if you don't care.

My failed H&V Challenge: It is done! The name is Cake and Other Curses!

The two dmhgficexchange exchange_bingo prize fics: One to go! The first one is called Flickering Flames. The prize fics that I offered up for the exchange. They need to be done. Should be one-shots. Hopefully. ;)

The Silencio Sequel: Has a name. It's called Secrets. It will begin posting on 16/08/12.

The Complexity of Carnal Knowledge: Will be slowly uploaded in the background.

Playing Games: (Some kind of second part or sequel.) I have some of that written, but it's so far on the back burner that you may safely consider it done in about a decade.

The deadlines:

Currently I'm on no deadline.

My personal life:

I became a parent for the second time on January 11th 2012. There have been a host of medical issues surrounding this event but hopefully it's letting up now!

I'll update this post if there are any significant changes. I will ignore any further direct inquiries.
Slythindor Happy endings


LIST OF TRANSLATIONS Certain translations are available in Czech/Slovak, Finnish, French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Russian and Spanish. These are my links.

NOTE: Outdated. I'll update it eventually when it doesn't seem to be such a great chore. If you're a translator, please keep providing me with links. I'll put it on here eventually. :)


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Slythindor Happy endings

Secrets, Chapter 6/15

Title: Secrets
Series: Silencio
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance, Smut
Main Pairing: Draco/Hermione
Story Warnings: Dubious Consent, Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Mild Kink, Psychological Trauma, Smut, Substance Abuse
Overall Rating: NC-17
Summary: Nine years after Voldemort's defeat, Hermione decides to take a holiday from her life to work out who she is and what she wants to do with herself. She soon gets the feeling that Draco Malfoy might be the key to her salvation, but Draco seems to be consumed by a need to keep secrets that are destroying him and does not want her interfering. Armed with a determination to save someone who doesn't want to be saved, she sets out to see how he might fit into the oddly shaped puzzle that is her life.
Credit & Disclaimer: This is a non-profit derivative work based on the world and characters of J. K. Rowling. Thank you to dollfaced and mazvn for the comprehensive beta and filigree1 for the Britpick.

Secrets @ Hawthorn & Vine They have closed submissions for the holidays. I will submit at the beginning of January.

Secrets @ Archive of our Own

Secrets @ Granger Enchanted

Secrets @ kittyfics Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6.1 / 6.2
Ravenclaw potential

Summer Life Update. :)

I've meant to post an update for a very long time, but the more time passes, the harder it seems to be to summon the energy. I really haven't a lot of energy for fandom these days. I've really been turned off it, but maybe that will change back, who knows.

I got my driver's license on July 16th. :D It was in second go. My first go, I made the mistake of listening to how others thought I should prepare instead of listening to myself when my brain was screaming it doesn't work that way for us!!! and as a result, I had a bona fide panic attack and failed my test basically as soon as I started the car. I'm actually grateful that I had to wait two weeks for a new test, because it took me more than a week to calm down, and then I started to prepare myself the way I needed to, and telling my instructor what I needed him to do. I thought I might have to work a bit to change the approach, but-

Him: That's actually pretty awesome, you know the nature of your problem and how to deal with it. I get a lot of students that panic like you, but they never even realise or acknowledge the problem, so they simply keep failing and there's little else I can do for them.

Well, huh.

One part of my solution made Maz laugh: Chewing gum. But as he learned, I'm deadly serious about that part. It focuses part of my attention when I need it and gives me something to do that isn't fidgeting or talking or any other thing that might distract me. I often pop a piece of gum when I'm beginning to feel nervous and it helps.

Of course, after he failed his test the second time, he also remembered to chew gum at his third test.

That's right. He failed twice.

Normally it wouldn't make me happy. It certainly shouldn't. It was expensive and very stressful to Maz. But, dammit, I'm the one with all the anxieties and such, and he's the one who ended up needing more tries! It makes me feel good to not simply be Worst At Everything.

Oh, and he passed his third test on July 31st. But I'm not sure the gum can get all the credit. There were other factors. ;)

Once I had my driver's license, we began taking the kids all over the place. There are so many attractions just on Fyn (the island we live on, near a city called Odense, here's a map even) that we can visit now. :D Zoos, aquariums, playgrounds, parks, castles, amusement parks... it's so lovely not to be dependent on buses and other crap that never goes when and where you want them to. So we had ourselves a nice summer holiday with all that.

And now Maz was offered a temp teaching job. It's only for a couple of months, but it's full pay, which basically means twice the money he usually gets. Oh, yeah, baby. He wouldn't have been able to go without the car, because it's too far to go on bicycle and the buses are impossible in that direction.

Him: Yeah, that's lucky.
Me: Luck had nothing to do with it!
Him: Uh, right. It's all part of the plan.
Me: You bet it is.

Speaking of luck or lack thereof... No, not lack of luck. We borrowed money for the car from our parents. We had some of the money ourselves and we were cleared to easily borrow more than we needed at a favourable interest rate from Maz's bank, but we decided to ask our parents in the interest of... no interest. Also, no contract fee. And they agreed. We borrowed an amount from my mum and an amount from Maz's parents. I didn't like being too far in debt with anyone, so that's why I insisted on splitting it up to two more manageable amounts. We borrowed 15k DKK from my mum and 10k DKK from Maz's parents and planned to start out with paying each 500 DKK a month and then maybe more a month later if we could afford it.

Mind you, that whole plan was ours. My parents were like, "You need money? Sure. Here. Pffft, let's talk about payments later when you have your taxes and insurances and all that sorted. There's no rush." I began paying them back this month and my mum was like, "Can you afford that?? Do you have money to live on??" And, um, well, no. But we're in the red this month regardless, so those 500 DKK hardly matter a great deal. We'll right it next month, no worries, I'm just not comfortable not paying off my loans when I'm very well aware that it's not the car's fault per se that we're in the red. Remember all those amusements I was talking about? Yeah, they weren't free. Neither was going to IKEA to get a few new pieces of furniture to help the change we're trying to make around here. I know my mum's still fine with waiting for her money (she's outright stated that she likes how we're giving the boys new experiences) but I don't like feeling guilty for other spending, so no.

At the same time I asked Maz to get the account info I'd need from his parents, so I could also begin paying them. That was... an ordeal. Well, no, 'ordeal' is the wrong word. More like frustrating. I like my things orderly, okay? Especially when I owe people money. I don't like owing people money. It makes me anxious to have debts flowing around, so I'd actually have preferred it if our parents would have signed full contracts as to how and when the payments were to occur. Maz's parents were very... at first, his dad said, "Oh, was that a loan?" and then he was like, "Meh, later when you have the money, but not right now. Wait until the time if and when you can better afford it and then we'll see. Yadda, yadda, yadda." I hate that, but of course I'm well aware that I can't voice how much I hate that. I don't like to be reminded at some point in the future that, "Oh, by the way, you owe me 10k." I don't want to randomly remember it as I'm splurging on something else and then feel guilty for not making a bigger effort to pay them back. I want it sorted and with a plan. It probably stems from years and years of my dad using my debts to him to constantly guilt and pressure me into doing whatever he wanted or he'd want the full amount on the spot. Yep, he's a douche, no news there. So I asked Maz to sort it out with his parents.

Of course, then later he talked to his mum and she said the money was a gift. Which doesn't surprise me at all, because that woman has been known to throw money at us. The thing is... well, now it is sorted. It was a gift. I will not be so misbehaved as to demand to pay it back. It does help our economy to get that money, etc, it's just... we're in our thirties. We can pay for our own shit. I know she legitimately wants to help us out financially, and that's part of the reason I don't object (and she knows it makes me uncomfortable, which is why she always gives Maz travelling money when I'm not there) but she works so damn hard and I don't feel right sitting on my ass and harvesting the fruits of her labour.

Argh! But at least now we can pay my mum back faster, I suppose. It's a whole new experience to her to have a debtor that's eager to pay her back. Not getting into specifics since that seems rather douchey and none-of-my-business-anyway, but there are other people that owe her money who don't have any urge at all to get their finances sorted.

Hmm... what other news... We bought a whole pig. Not a live one. It was quite dead and cut up, some of it even ground. We traded away the feet, though. I did not particularly want those. I did not mind standing elbow deep in ground meat and dividing it into smaller bags, but when I accidentally touched a toe, I squeaked. That's how much sense I make. Fortunately we could opt out of getting the head, because ew. The meat of our pig seems to be really good quality and the kilo price was low, so yay!

Kupo is now getting pocket money because he's very interested in the concept of earning money. 10 DKK a week that he's not allowed to spend on sweets (he does get sweets sometimes, we just don't think he should blow his pocket money on it). It's not a lot and he's really no good at saving, but every 2-3 weeks he manages to find some junk toy that he proudly purchases by himself. And he's very committed to doing the minor chores we ask him to do to earn that money.

Snuffles is not bald any longer. He has big blond curls. I might show you sometime when I'm not as tired and lazy as now. Kupo also used to have curls, though, and doesn't seem to now when his hair is heavier, so maybe Snuffles will grow out of it. Snuffles has so much lighter hair than Kupo, though. And very blue eyes. But then, Maz had white-blond hair as a kid as well, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

Snuffles can also speak. Not entire sentences, but sometimes he puts two words together. I'm quite impressed. Kupo was late to the talking game, so the fact that Snuffles can do this at 1½ years (not too uncommon) seems amazing to me.

I lost 15kg since January. I'm at a standstill, but then, I've also been very bad at keeping my diet, so mostly I'm just grateful that I haven't put it all on again. I have been more active since we got the car, though, since I get out more, so that probably helps.


So... that was what I had the energy and inclination to put in today's update. I hope you're all well. :)
Slythindor Happy endings

Everything's fine.

Just in case you were wondering. You probably weren't. Those of you that would be prone to wondering would check my Twitter and see that I still post there regularly. It's just that I haven't been at my computer in a very long time and I hate writing longer posts on my phone. So. But I can give you a few updates now...

1) I got a new phone! A white Samsung Galaxy S4. Maz then got my old S2 and I won't have to see him with the HTC Desire Z any longer, win/win. It's indeed a stupid time to buy a brandnew phone, buuuuuuut... yeah. I chose a 2 year payment plan. Not because I didn't have the money (which I suppose I technically don't), but because I'm shit at remembering when exactly I got things and this way I will know that I'm not allowed a new phone until it's paid in full. The final price was the same whether I paid for it the spot or spread it over 6, 12 or 24 months (no interest), so that seemed like a brilliant idea. I'm sure it will feel like forever once I start aching for an upgrade. XD

2) We also bought a car! (See, timing!) It's a Renault Megane stationcar from 2001. I haz pictures. They were taking by the dealer while there was still snow, but I've seen it and gone for a test drive in it and the pictures don't lie. ;)

[Car pictures]

Our neighbour pissed me off a bit after the fact. We'd told him about the car--which was thoroughly researched and run by several people before purchasing, we'd even brought my step-dad with us to look at it--and he kept going on about how we'd bought the first car we'd seen and paid too much. And it's impossible to argue with him because he basically doesn't understand Danish and understands very little English, plus he's a damn mechanic.

Let me explain the mechanic part. I realised that I hate mechanics. Mechanics belong to a group of people that generally dismiss me on sight for not having a dick, which is enough to piss me off. I may not be car savvy, but I'm at least as car savvy as Maz, kthxbai. I was the one browsing cars for hours and hours and hours until I had to force him to take an interest. But other than that general sexism, mechanics simply cannot fathom why regular people will pay extra to get something in full working order, rather than risk having to go to the shop all the time. If the car rattles we won't know if it's something insignificant or if it's falling apart. We cannot afford shit like that. So we found a dealer that at least seems very thorough and got the thumbs up from my car-savvy step-dad.

Then Neighbour Guy prints out the ad for a similar car and comes over to show me how I paid farrrrr too much. Yeah, no. That listing price was only about 17% less (I'd give you numbers but cars are more expensive in Denmark compared to a lot other countries, so it might confuse more than help). True, that car had also gone about 65k km less, but 1) the price I had cited was including plates, this was without. 2) There was no telling from that grainy little pic how its condition was - the one we bought was pretty much pristine with no dents, no scratches, no rust, not even any spots on the seats. 3) It said nowhere when the cheaper car had last passed the MOT test or whether it would need work done before it could pass it - ours has passed that test just before we pick it up, giving us a full two years where we at least won't have to worry about that. 4) There were no comments at all on what extras the car he'd printed had or what things that perhaps weren't relevant to the MOT but still needed work. When agreeing to buy our car, we were asked if we'd noticed anything at all extra we wanted him to fix before we picked it up (yeah, I do realise this could be a get-out-of-jail-free card for anything we might have missed--I'm not actually stupid), and the dealer himself pointed out a few minor things we'd never have noticed (like a missing hinge on one of the front doors) and said he'd change the tyres too. He said the only reason the car wasn't already done was because sometimes a mechanic rolled in, looking for a deal, and then he'd feel his work was wasted.

So, yeah. I'm not regretting the extra cost.

Fucking mechanics.

Our driving instructor also said that our neighbour sounds like a typical mechanic, haha.

Okay, I suppose the dealer is a kind of mechanic too, but I'll make sure to rant if he fucked us over.

3) Maz and I both passed our theory test on Monday, and Maz has his driving test on Thursday next week. There weren't enough spots open for me. :( My test isn't until July 2nd. Our instructor has said he'll keep his eyes open for another early opening popping up, but I'm not holding my breath. My passport, which I use as ID for this, expires on June 28th. So you can imagine how frustrated I was when Maz told me our instructor hadn't scheduled me first (I'd mentioned the passport to him at some point, but I'm sure he forgot) and I was like FUCK NO, I AM NOT PAYING OUT MY NOSE TO RENEW MY PASSPORT FOR THIS!!! IT'S FOUR DAYS!!! And then I made Maz call the police who merrily kept redirecting his call until he actually spoke with one of the policemen performing the tests who said, "Uh, just have her bring her certificate of baptism as well as her passport and it'll be fine with us." So I'll do that. It's lucky that my mum gave me that certificate a while ago.

4) Just to speak about something else: Maz got a job. Well, kind of. He's not actually making more money, but he's helping out with a grade 0 (5-6-year-olds) 22 hours a week and hopefully laying the foundation/networking to get a more steady teaching position. And lemme tell you... he may get off work at noon most days, but he is exhausted when he gets home. Those little kids are seriously doing a number on him. It's kind of funny, but I wouldn't dare laugh for fear that he'd refuse to make me dinner then. ;) Not that he always does anyway. I may actually have to cook some days if he keeps wanting to order take-out this often.

I could give you about a million more little updates, but I'm sure this was boring enough. Oh, btw, one last thing: Frederik (new kitty) is doing fine. He more or less moved out on our veranda since we sealed it off with some net and built him an impressive scratching post. He especially likes to sleep where the kids can't get to him. XD
Slythindor Happy endings

I'm in love!

Well, okay, I'm supposed to be, but I'm referring to a more materialistic kind of love here.

I loves me my gadgets, but due to our huuuuuuge costs with learning to drive, acquiring a car, and paying for said car, I've had to rein that in a bit. Dammit. I really, really, really, really want a new laptop as the old one is very old and big and cumbersome, but that's simply not happening right now.

Still. I managed to buy a few minor things here when Maz needed a new battery for his phone. :D

[Cutting because courtesy.]First thing is this:

Just a cover for my phone. It was cheap, but looked surprisingly good in person. The SMELL, though. OMG, awful. It's down to bearable levels now after Maz tried washing it off for me, but I'm seriously considering hanging it outside for a day or two... Still, it's a great cover, and I love using it. My old cover is a sleeve where you have to push it in/pull it out, and it's actually scratched my phone a bit. :/ Plus you can't leave that one on when using it, you can with this one.

Second thing is not very different:

I just went for the cheapest thing, and it shows a little that it's not specifically for my phone only. I don't care, though. I was pleasantly surprised by the softness of the armband. I'd have expected something rather stiff and scratchy at that cost. Especially from the prices I'd been introduced to downtown! Now I just need one thing to have my perfect getup. Unfortunately that's the tricky thing for me: A good and comfortable sports bra that does NOT cost a fortune. -_- Might as well wish for a unicorn.

Then there's this:

It's bigger than it looks. (That's what he said? >_>) It was the cheapest Bluetooth Keyboard they had and it was mostly bought from the OMG I HATE TYPING ON THOSE SCREENS urge, plus because, um, I could. There's a minor downside to it that we never considered, though: It's not a Danish layout. For me it mostly doesn't matter, but it can be a bit of a nuisance at times when Æ, Ø and Å are missing. Plus, stuff's in all the wrong places. Oh well. Still. I can now type on fics and LJ updates when I'm away from home. :)

And finally:


I don't blame you if you don't know what it is or why a little white brick is so exciting. XD It's for recharging things on the go. It holds exactly enough power to, in theory, recharge my phone four times. I'm not naïve enough to think it will, but when would I need that anyway? For most trips, once should be enough. Maz used it today for our ancient iPod Touch that he suddenly got the urge to bring with him downtown, and after using it, he finds it rather amazing as well. He especially likes that it shuts off by itself as soon as the gadget is fully charged. :D

This post was brought to you by my general lust for gadgets, and sponsored by Maz's need for a new phone battery. Most expensive battery ever. Unevenly sized pictures brought to you by my amateurish hot-linking. :)
teal deer

Using this icon before I lose it. :)

I should post more often. And I should pick one topic each time so it's not a jumbled mess of a post about a billion different things. So, what'll it be this time... hmm...

I think I'll go with cars/driving.

We've been looking at what kind of car to get and have decided that we'll definitely need a stationcar. And from looking at the biggest used car sites, we've decided that we're probably getting a Peugeot 206 of some kind, preferably a 2006 model, but 2005 will do as well. The reason why we've semi-decided on the make even before we've found the specific car we want is 1) there are so many 206s for sale and 2) it makes it easier to research the pros and cons when we don't have to do it for a dozen different makes. The 206 seems decent and economical.

[Learning how to drive teal deer]Theory lessons are going well. There was a mock test (that had been the final one year) last week, and Maz and I were the only ones that would have passed if it had been a real final test. I think I'm being seen as a bit of a swot, because this week there was a mock-mock test and one of the other women made a big deal out of trying to see my answers. >_> We're currently five people doing theory together, Maz as the only male, and there are two that I think may fail if they don't take more time to study on their own. But then, that's none of my business. It's their money and it won't affect my license, so...

Maz had possible food poisoning last time so he was just slumped in his chair for most of that session. Poor guy. But he was all right the next day. Still, I'm not sure how much he listened to the instructor. We should probably do a few tests together on the computer before the next lesson. Not that he truly needs it. He does just as well as I do while putting in less effort. I grumbled about it and he pointed out that it's because he learns it from me, because I point things out when we're out and about in traffic. I suppose that means I should take a fee from him. :P

We've each been out driving on the roads twice now. We go once a week for about an hour and a half. The instructor actually picks us up here (me first, Maz 1½ hours later) and then we drive around in the area. He says he doesn't have a real route up here, but he's had family up here and worked up here before, so he knows his way around to some extent. However, next time he'd like us to meet him downtown so we can try a more official route and city-driving.

Driving is in a way surprisingly easy, even though I'm a scaredy-cat about the simplest things. I don't think I'll kill anyone, at least. I've only really made two bigger mistakes. The first time out, I braked in a crossing when the light turned yellow and freaked the instructor out because the one behind us could've gotten surprised and rammed us. I was supposed to just continue. Haha, oops. The second time I could've hit a bicyclist that popped up out of nowhere after I'd checked mirrors and blind spot and was making a three-point turn at the end of a blind road. I don't know if I'd have hit the brakes in time, because he did it first over in his side. ;) He said he had no idea either where that bicyclist had come from, but that it wasn't when everything went to plan that accidents happened.

Fortunately there's a big SCHOOL CAR sign on top of the car, so you have to be a complete moron to not think "that driver sucks ass, I should give them a wide berth". And, indeed, those complete morons exist. The car got rammed during a test (okay, the sign isn't up during tests, because you're supposed to be competent at that time) last week, through no fault of the student. My instructor had just got the car back from the shop, so he was fairly angry about it. I can understand why. That car is his livelihood.

All in all, it's fun, though. And fortunately the instructor has a good sense of humour and laid-back disposition. People that don't take my wry jokes as just complaining. I can give you some examples...

INSTRUCTOR: *looks at Snuffles crawling towards us outside as Maz is preparing to take the kids to pre-school/nursery* Wow, look at him go!
ME: Yeah. Um. I'm not gonna start this thing until I'm sure Maz has him.
INSTRUCTOR: Fair enough.
ME: ...
ME: ... Okay, I know he wouldn't make it near us. But it freaks me out!
INSTRUCTOR: No rush. Whenever you're ready.

CAT: *crosses the road far, far in front of us as I'm driving very slowly*
ME: Shoo! Go away! I'm not hitting one of you!
INSTRUCTOR: I've never hit a cat, so I think it's actually fairly rare for it to happen.
ME: 300 killed!
ME: A day.
INSTRUCTOR: O.o That has to be in Europe or something...
ME: In Denmark. An estimated 70,000 cats a year.
INSTRUCTOR. :/ *has two cats himself*
ME: Yeah, so... shoo!
(Also, I later told him about a number one could call for free assistance whenever one came across an animal in need. He hadn't heard about that number, so he called it during class to hear what it was about, and apparently that's the only number you need to know now whether you hit a deer/pet that survives, think someone isn't caring for their pets, spot a dog in a car on a hot day, find a box of kittens, or whatever. They'll sort everything else out. They also offered him streamers he could give his students, so now all his students will be wiser. And he said he'd talk to his union about making it even more widely known, yay!)

ME: Argh! I hate traffic lights!
INSTRUCTOR: *makes me hit light after light after light*
INSTRUCTOR: ... Well, yes. And look at you, already more confident. ;)

INSTRUCTOR: I'm going to need you to take a right up there.
ME: ARGH, YOU EVIL, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS-- I mean, yes, Mr Driving Instructor. Of course, Mr Driving Instructor.
INSTRUCTOR: That's the spirit! XD

ME: So, I did good apart from almost hitting that bicyclist, right?
INSTRUCTOR: Apart from that, you did fine, yeah.
ME: Oh, look, there she is again. I really don't like her.
INSTRUCTOR: She's certainly not in a rush, is she?
ME: Gawd, I hate her. Can I get a second go at running her over?

INSTRUCTOR: *points at lady with pram* We have one just like that. I regret it a bit because it's so small.
ME: Oh? Yeah, ours is very big. The oldest napped in it until he was three.
INSTRUCTOR: But this one can be turned into a pushcart, and that's nice.
ME: I avoided those because they said they were less safe.
ME: Because you snap the parts on and off so easily.
INSTRUCTOR: Ahh... Now stop on the side of that car up ahead, I'm going to have you back up behind it and do a parallel parking.
INSTRUCTOR: Well, that would be fine by me... ;)

So that's working out okay. Apparently I talk more to the instructor than Maz does. IDK. I do talk a lot, I suppose. Especially when I'm trying not to be anxious. And the instructor is easy to talk to and tries to get me to focus on whatever I do well. It seems from what I hear that he may be a bit more critical of Maz, but then, Maz can more easily take it without getting nervous. I prefer it if I'm the one that's pointing out what I'm doing wrong, which is also why it may seem like I focus too much on the bad stuff.

Bonus: I talked to my mother about looking at cars online...

MOTHER: So, how many horse powers does it have?
ME: Um... 75.
ME: I know, I know. Don't give Maz any ideas, he'd also rather have more. But this one's up for sale really close by!
MOTHER: I'll say. I also prefer a car with some oomph.
ME: But it gets more mileage!
MOTHER: I'm sure it does. If it ever actually manages to go anywhere.
ME: -_-
MOTHER: But, hey, if you want a granny car, that's up to you!
D/Hr No Happy Ending

Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...

I don't really want to make the first part of this post, which is why I put it off for almost a week, but here goes...

Modem is dead.

She was hit by a car a mere five months after Burger, a couple of months before she'd have turned 11. She never really went near the roads, but the stars aligned against us as there was a rare day of nice weather prompting her to go for a stroll and a speeding idiot all happening at the same time. This time there was even a neighbour (the one looking after our kids when we go to theory classes) witnessing it because it happened in broad daylight.

I don't actually want to talk about it. I don't want to think too hard about it either. Most of the time it's kind of like I pretend that she's just out of sight and not permanently gone at all, but of course I know that she is. For the main part choose to be grateful for everything knowing her gave me rather than broken that she's gone, and I don't like talking about it because it feels too personal.

If you know me then you'll know that me calling something 'too personal' is rather significant, since I otherwise have no problem sharing my pain and past experiences. So just... leave it be, please.

Anyhoo. I haven't dealt that well with the emptiness since then. To suddenly not have a cat when you're me and always had a cat is very... lonely. I know that sounds weird because I have Maz and the kids, but that's how it is. Also, Modem was very helpful with my anxieties. Nothing like a soft, purring, always faithful kitty to make you feel better.

So I told Maz that I needed to have a cat and I was going to get me a rescue from Inges Kattehjem ASAP and build it a big cage out back so it wouldn't get hit by a car, because I was done with that. He was on board with getting a cat and building that cage (I think they call it a catrun in English?) but thought - and probably still thinks - that I was rushing it a bit. I didn't - and still don't - care. Nobody could take Modem's place, but at least a new cat can calm and distract me while I heal.

So we went on Sunday. Of course, the whole trip was a mess, what with Kupo suddenly NEEDING TO PEE on the way and getting some on his trousers so he pretty much had to run around in underwear because we of course didn't bring extra trousers with us this ONE time. *sigh* (We tried purchasing some stockings for him but he claimed they itched and refused to put them on.) And Snuffles was a bit unwell and went into full hunger mode at a time when we didn't have any snacks for him.

But in spite of all this, we made it to the shelter and had a look at their selection. There was only one staff member present and it took us a while to get her attention since we obviously weren't the only people looking to adopt. I knew right away that I didn't want to adopt one of the cats they had, because she looked a lot like Modem. That one was adopted by the next ones, though, and they seemed nice, so I'm sure she'll have a good life. From the shelter's website I'd considered a white/grey cat called Bianca, but her papers at the location said she didn't get along with small children, so that was a no-go as well. I liked a very mellow white cat with black and red spots, but she was perhaps a bit too mellow for the kids, because Kupo was completely uninterested in getting another sleeping lump. XD Kupo really wanted a black seven-month-old called Pjok, because it was very playful, but unfortunately it was also an extremely frightened cat when taken from its cage. It didn't like being taken out by anyone and everything considered, the staff member didn't think the kids would ever get to see her as she would simply hide from them. As far as black cats went, I was really fascinated by a huge monster panther cat called Oscar. Unfortunately he had a few strikes against him, one of which being that I actually found him intimidating even though I was assured he was a darling. ;) But he'd also been sent back for completely terrorising the other cats in his household, and unfortunately it's our plan to get a second cat sometime later so they won't be lonely when we go away for the weekend. It really won't do to come back to a massacre or a completely trashed house.

Finally we had a look at the very first cat the staff member had pointed out to us. A mouse-grey striped one-year-old male called Frede. (Very Danish name, alina290 had the right idea when she called him 'Freddy' on Twitter, and that's the name I will now use for him in here.) He'd been tying himself into knots to get anyone's attention, but unfortunately for him, he had a sign that said to wash hands after touching him that scared people off. Turns out it's because he has a cold that could transfer to the other cats. That cat can sneeze, I tells ya. His fur was/is also a little greasy down front because he's been treated for ear mites recently with some drops. He'd been found wandering around in the southern part of town and the guy who'd turned him in (he gave his address as a Gardening Association, so I assume it was on behalf of the whole association) had seen him come and go for a month and a half and hadn't managed to locate an owner. Freddy had no identification and hadn't been castrated, earmarked, chipped, vaccinated, or anything, and as mentioned came in with ear mites. So they took him in and got him checked out, treated and sorted on all those accounts and by the time we went down and got him, he should be fine. Except for the cold, which is likely stress-related and will be treated for free by their vet if it evolves.

Here he is:

He's still very cautious and I'm a little worried that he won't ever accept Snuffles, because apparently Snuffles is a very scary baby that prompts hiding under the towel closet for an hour after he's gone. But then, Freddy is so young that he should still be able to learn to trust that we won't let the baby harm him. He mostly lives in the cat carrier out in our bathroom for now, but it's only been a day, so we're giving him time and space to get used to being here. Whenever Maz or I go to check on him, he goes completely bananas and writhes around to get the most scratches possible, so no problems there. Kupo was a little bit disappointed that Freddy wasn't as playful today as he was down at the shelter, but accepted that the cat is still a little bit scared of us (mostly the kids though). At least Freddy cautiously accepts Kupo and doesn't hide from him. He just refuses to exit the cat carrier.

Thursday I need to bring him back down to the shelter so their vet can give him round two of his vaccinations, and I think I'll ask them to weigh him for me so I can dose his food properly. Not that I currently fear he'll over-eat. I was pleased to see that he'd eaten all his food the first night, but he didn't so far touch any of it today. He did, however, visit the litter box and turn over the kids' bathtub as well as the dustbin, plus we can hear him rummaging, so we know he's checking out his new environment and playing with his toys.

We've already ordered him new food and drink bowls, more toys, and a few other odds and ends. We're also looking into whether we can build the catrun from scratch ourselves or whether we need to buy more expensive sections and put together, and once we have that sorted, we're going to build a kitty playground in there and make it so the kids can go in and play with him when they want to. Expensive? Certainly. But to me, more important than getting a car.
D/Hr No Happy Ending

That's it!

I have ranted about the pathetic, little man that fathered me before in here.

He's now blocked on facebook, which severs the very last of our feeble connection.

I had told him before time and time again that I did not want to see his disgusting racist and sexist reposts with no basis in reality, when today I again saw he'd posted the mother of all racist non sequiturs and I snapped. He's gone.

Afterwards I posted a PSA on my timeline about it, saying why I had blocked him and telling people that they could let me know if they disagreed and wanted to unfollow me as well. I am done.

Did you know that he'd been invited to Snuffles' first birthday and didn't show? Didn't even cancel? Didn't even send a present? I'm so sick of having to badger him endlessly for a clear answer on anything or for him to bother with my kids at all. He doesn't want to be the one to have to do anything. He'd rather just act like it's on us and we should come visit him with all the trouble with little kids and heavy luggage on buses and trains (he has a car) and then when we're there he can just... sit around and get drunk with his mates while we have to take care of ourselves. And then he doesn't get why we basically never want to go. Fucking asshole.

I honestly don't even think I'll be sad when he dies. With all the damage he's done to this family, I think I might actually feel relieved that I'll never be pressured into seeing his face again.

This should have happened a long time ago.
D/Hr No Happy Ending

More on the driving thing

So today Maz and I went to our first theory lessons for our driver's licenses.

By Danish law you are required to have:

- 29 theory lessons with 3 evaluating tests
- 4 practical lessons in a closed practice space
- 16 maneuvering lessons on roads
- 4 lessons at a technical driving facility (slippery conditions etc)
- You also need an 8 hour first aid course, a doctor's statement, the right kind of ID, and sooo much money. Even a pass in first go will cost us a total of almost 21,000DKK, which is about US$3600 / €2800 / £2400. Yep.

So, basically, we went tonight for theory and will go one more night a week for the next 8 weeks. The closed practice thing will be the first time we actually get to drive and that will happen on the 15th. After that, it alternates between theory and practice. Then it all culminates with a written test that needs to be passed first, followed by a few more lessons and the technical driving facility, and then a practical test.

1/4 fail the written test and 1/3 fail the practical one. I just hope we do better than that, because it would suck to have that extra cost. >_> But all in all it looks like we should be done around mid-June, unless the instructor recommends additional lessons for us. He seems cool enough though, and has pointed out that it's in his own interest to make this as painless on us as possible since his business is very dependent on happy customers and referrals.

We were handed out some helpful tips pamphlets and booklets, a theory book and some DVDs with additional material and sample tests. Being a bit of a swot, I read through all the pamphlets and booklets and some of the book, before deciding that it was past 1AM and I was tired. The DVDs will have to wait until tomorrow.

It was unusually late before we were home today. The lessons ended past nine and because buses at night suck and we needed two of them, it was probably 10:30PM before we were home. Fortunately in the future, the lessons will take place two hours earlier.

Our neighbours a few doors down from us were sitting for us tonight. They're a nice Polish couple with a daughter Kupo's age. Kupo and their daughter go to pre-school together and play together quite often, and the mother always encourages it because she says it helps her (and her daughter) learn Danish. It's nice that they live so close, so we'd asked if they could look after the kids at least some of the times we had to go for theory. Tonight we knew it was going to be late so we'd even asked if Kupo could perhaps sleep over. And of course he could, no problem at all!

So when we got there at 10:30 to pick up Snuffles, the Mother let us in and it was like...

Mother: There's been a problem.
Me: Oh?
Mother: But only with [her daughter]. Your children are perfect! So good!
Me: O.o
Mother: [her daughter] cried and wanted to sleep with me - she never sleeps with me - and your Kupo just patted her and said, "Don't cry! Don't cry! Look, we'll sleep together!" and he was so sweet! Always comforting her.
Me: Yes, he's very affectionate...
Mother: And your Snuffles, ten minutes of crying and then poof, asleep. All gone.
Me: He's a good sleeper.
Mother: [her daughter] never was like that. Always crying and waking up. But Snuffles, no.
Me: Well, next time won't be so late so maybe you won't have to--
Mother: Don't worry about it! They both sleep in our bed with me and my husband sleep in front of TV. He usually does anyway. *rolls eyes*

Haha, I only wish my kids would be that good at home, but I suppose that's the way of it. ;)

And then when she showed me that she'd taken her old baby monitor out for Snuffles sake and I accidentally mentioned that we didn't use a baby monitor any more because ours went wonky a while ago, she gave hers to me with a "No more babies for me anyway. No. One is 23 and one is 4, that is enough."

The father was there too, but he didn't say a lot (not that anyone could say much through the mother's chattering XD but I like chatty people... they're easy to talk to even when you're awkward like me). He just kind of smiled and waved in the background. He doesn't seem to know a lot of Danish and not much English either. He did seem to appreciate the wine that Maz had bought for them, though. XD

So all in all it's been a good day, I think. I need to get a picture taken somewhere this week and then get my doctor's statement that I am able to drive next week. Ugh, and I have to ask my instructor if my passport, which expires in late June and is cutting it very close, is good enough for ID or if I need to go down and have an ID card made.